You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
