Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
