woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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