I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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