the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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