the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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