that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Pants are for mortals
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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