i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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