she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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