Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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