I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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