I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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