I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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