I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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