I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
