Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
