dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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