Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
