I like my sex mixed with concussions.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
