***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just saw a hot homeless man
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i think i just lost a toe
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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