what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
