If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
