In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
