Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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