i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
