Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
foreskin is a definite game changer
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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