How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
