CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
