Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
