Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
