Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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