whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
