Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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