you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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