i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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