...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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