but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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