Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in