Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny