It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.