He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
