My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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