just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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