therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
