I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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