i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My life is pants optional.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
