There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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