we have officially lost it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
