I hate all girls vehemently.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
