Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
