she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
