I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
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I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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