tell your sister to shave her snatch
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
