lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize