He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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