apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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