it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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