where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
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