Me too!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
