yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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