I wish i was in the wii world.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
