capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
