You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
