I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
