I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
