i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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