OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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