Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
