Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
