girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
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