After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
please come you make the beer taste better
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
