Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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